So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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