Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
