everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize