1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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