The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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