At least make sure they are 18
Why
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
