Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize