taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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