JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
