Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
