Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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