He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
His nipple licking is glorious
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