So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
