no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
