5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize