I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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