i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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