Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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