That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
