it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize