so let's talk penis.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
