Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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