Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I will pee on everything he values.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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