She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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