Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
