Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
