i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
