Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
