just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
