Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize