Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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