I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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