I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
