so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
