When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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