you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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