She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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