I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
