The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
