New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
