in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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