his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
The ass gains better be worth it
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