I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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