hotel room ftw
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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