i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
