Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
