Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he shaved USA in his pubs
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
