the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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