P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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