nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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