babies were throwing up all over the place
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
