puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
