she woke up with a sticky ear
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
