I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
