you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
