He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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