We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize