Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize