Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
