hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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