dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Randomize