Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
