I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
