Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
