I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
