she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
