I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
