his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
