Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
