IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
be right there i have to get my cape
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize