the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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