woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
