Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
